Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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sdfrgtyuki

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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