A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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Nickelback

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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Sticks and stones may break my bones and they can also break cars.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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Brad Fuller!

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So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops