Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Why couldn't the black man swim. Because he had never been taught.

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a deer

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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derp

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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jacob mckeand sucks his own dick, lol jokes, he has jamie for that

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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What is red,brown and stinks? A deer that's hit by a car

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i was scrolling through the anti-jokes and saw one that just said refridgerator. i laughed. penis.

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Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops