A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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The Barackness Monster

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Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

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Why did the kid kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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She said no

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Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

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whats worse than being late to school haveing your family killed by an angry peice of toast

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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Roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt.,

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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*you're

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Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops