This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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Have you heard the deaf guitarist? He's really good.

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52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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WNBA

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why was the kid sad? his fish died. he had to flush it down the toilet.

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Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

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Why? Whats wrong?

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What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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