whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

What causes floods? Too much water.

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

1st guy: Wanna hear a joke? 2nd guy: Yeah sure. 1st guy: Me too.

Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

What would Hitler say if you give him a sandwich? Thankyou!

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

LIFE :(

whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

A black guy gets a job...

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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