there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? He looked at his gas bill.

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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What did the boy do when he struck out in his little league game? He was very upset and contemplated not playing the game anymore.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing you sicko, it was a tragic day for the world.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was a cold day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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