Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

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What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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what happens when you have A.D.D.? you're EXTREMELY annoying

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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knock knock who's there no one

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops