knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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How did Darth Vader make the little black boy's day? "I am your father"*heavy breath, heavy breath*

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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why was joe in hospital with facial disorder? his mum hit him with a fridge

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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Your momma is so white, when she goes out in the sun it is necessary for her to use a lotion with an SPF greater than 30 because she burns easily and is also afraid of skin cancer.

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my friend is gay hes gay

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Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

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Ebola

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GONNA

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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The WNBA.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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Mrs. Welsh

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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