Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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What did Obama get at the bar? A shot... In the head.

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Q: What do racists call a disgusting filthy monkey that savagely jumps around in the jungle and steals white chicks? A: The same as the rest, Donkey Kong.

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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Why did the beaver cross the road? To meet Justin Bieber!

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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What's mean to black people? The economy. But, I forgot to mention that it's not nice to whites, hispanics, asians or anyone else.

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Unnnnnnnn

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your momma so dumb she put a battery up her but and said i got the power!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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