A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Give her a time-out. Throwing sharp objects is not okay.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black guy walks into a bar... *3 hours later* He walks out...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the dog say to the mailman? nothing, dogs lack the mental capacity for human speech therefore he was unable to communicate his message verbally

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black guy that drives a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you call a dog with no legs? You can't call it, you have to go and pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats 9 + 10? 19.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did i write this? I was bored

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops