It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Woman's Rights

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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