Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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The ability to beleive it's butter. Oh shit, wrong site

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Women's football

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Black Veil Brides.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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