What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

Don't go to the last anti-joke page, they're all terrible or repeated I hope this isn't one of them

Do you need any assistance?

What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

whats really hot the sun

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

im a ginger and i get beat up everyday

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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