you: Why did the chicken cross the road? them: "To get to the other side...?" you: Oh! *stare*

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A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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God is real

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did you know the leading cause of funerals is death?

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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You smell bad? Cool.

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What's worse than doing the dishes with long sleeves? Finding out your girlfriend's been cheating on you.

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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A man walks into a bar, unfortunately his brain condition killed him after the swelling in his brain reached a point where his family had to unplug him from a machine putting him in a medically induced coma.

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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Who spends too much time on Anti-Joke? ...

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Your mom

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops