what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-When is a door not a door? -Never

thumb_up thumb_down +8

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A drunk man walks out of a bar, goes home and abuses his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

As if it helps your self esteem: Nothing yet, Be the first to comment.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Six million.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops