What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Japan called... They need help.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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Cows go moo.

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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Society.

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops