whats really hot the sun

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did Ronald McDonald die? He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what happened the magic tractor?..... it turned into a field

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: why couldn't the pirate boy get into the movie? A: the movie was rated R and the pirate boy was only 14 years old, and he didn't have any adult supervision, which prevented him from entering the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The 19th Amendment

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This is "Eliza" holy shit! I almost gave up and went to a party assuming you guys had simply skipped the reply. Please tell me nothing of this is written in code, because I have no fucking idea how to decipher it... ...To think that so few consider Nero a hero for all that he has done, and so many have come to hate him and still follow his advice basically abusing him. I told my sister to use mom`s cellphone to call and warn as many as possible, telling them to spread the word, is Nero7 Going to make it? He mentioned a barfight starting over nothing during new years eve. I know that some of the members where planning to use his own teachings in order to overthrow him, I warned him but he was fully aware already but did nothing for some reason. Yet none of them have the assets to do anything like this... Should I start calling all those members that left during Nero7`s "sudden paranoia period?" Many of them have political authority and can be of help if we can somehow convince them. Respond Asap, and if Nero7 is in a public hospital, then get him the hell out of there, he is an exposed target for anyone, if he gets killed, ill fucking kill you you hear me!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between two black people? Ones a little mocha caramel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A 36 year old Canadian woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did you hear about the man who didn't get a burger with his meal?! Yes he is doing quite well on his diet don't you agree?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops