So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops