Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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Why is the horse gay. He rapes 3 children

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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why was sally bleeding? they never buy band-aids over her nubs.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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What happens when you mix bath salts, marijiuana, and crack cocaine and proceed to inject it into your body in some manner? You have one of the biggest trips of your life in which it will ware off and you will proceed with your life

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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