An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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