what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

Gustavo Andrade

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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