A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

thumb_up thumb_down -39

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -43

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown and sticky? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops