KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Donald Trump

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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