what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

asians have slitted eyes lol

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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