When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down

Fat? Jesse Z

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

thumb_up thumb_down

Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops