Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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WNBA

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Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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An English man walks into a pub.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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a horse walks into an abandoned lighthouse , the lighthouse keeper is angered by this and ushers the horse to leave but the horse gets startled and kicks the mans bookshelf over before galloping away

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what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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