Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

9/11 my birthday

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

i'm hard

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

You know what's funny? Rape

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...