So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops