What's better than a stick? A stone

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So, Ryan Dunn was driving under the influence of alcohol. The result of this action proved to be fatal for both Ryan and his passenger; who happened to be his close and personal friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops