when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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it

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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