I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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Why did the boy get teased? Because his name was spelt wrong (k)urtis

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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