knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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I saw a dog pick up a dead bird with its mouth. Crazy cause the bird had ants and maggots all over it, it smelled bad. Well anyways the dog drops it, and he stares at it for a few seconds. Then another dog comes and tilts his head. I'm guessing he's confused and is like "why did you pick that gross thing up? " So they both leave the bird there, in the first dog's owner's backyard. (He was on the cemented porch, not the grass. Just so you can picture it better) Okay well the two dogs go to the park, hoping to get some action with other dogs. Yeah, they were out of luck. There was no one there cause it was Christmas Eve. Who goes to the park on Christmas Eve? Do you? I know I don't. So the two dogs walk out of the park, heads down because well they're sad. On their way out, they see a dog with a bird in its mouth. They keep going because the dog was ugly, heading to the neighborhood going to the first dog's owner's backyard. They take a sip of water from the stainless steel bowl, munch out on some dog food. The dog food was from a 50 pound bag of dog food, it had all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals dogs need to be healthy. Oh and the brand was Iams. Pedigree is for owners that obviously don't care for their dogs cause Pedigree sucks. The owner of the first dog bought the food at the nearest PETCO for around 30$ That's crazy. 30$ for dog food. That's a good owner spending good money on his dog. I would do the same. So when the dogs were done eating, the first dog looks for the dead bird. (The bird the first dog had picked up at the beginning of the story) Turns out the bird is missing. Where could it have gone? The two dogs look everywhere. Then after 20 minutes the second dog says "Hey! We're being clumsy. The third dog had a bird exactly like yours! " So they run to the park hoping they'll find the third dog. He wasn't in anyone's sight until suddenly a familiar voice coming from behind says "Looking for this, Bimbos? What fool would leave such a delicious bird like this in their owner's backyard? " The first dog says "Hey! Give me back my bird! " The third dog refuses. So they begin to fight. Then the second dog snatches the bird And runs away with the bird. The two fighting dogs are still fighting till they notice the horrible stench is gone. The second dog isn't anywhere in sight. That shit cray.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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