Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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