TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops