What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops