Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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9/11 my birthday

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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