How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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