What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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