a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

A whole 'nother.

roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

what did the older brother do? put on a joke on anti jokes what did the younger brother do ? give it a minus score what did the older brother do ? tell him and then played gears of war 2 (they got gears 3 but wanted to go bakc in time, not like michael J fox in a car with a crazy doctor but as in play an old game)

Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

How do you make a snake blink? You can't

what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

An Irishman walked out of a bar

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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