What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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