Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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A women in the kitchen.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops