roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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i dont fisish anythi

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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u know whats a crime? rape

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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