why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

i have two hands.

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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