A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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