The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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