why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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