What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops