An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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