How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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civil rights

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops