A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

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Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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like if your cool

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What is my name? I dont know

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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