Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops