Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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if you can read this you dont' need glasses

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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Q. Why do televisions come with clickers A. So you don't have to get up to change the channel

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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