What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

cool

Roses are Red Violets are Blue No they're not They're purple

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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