Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Justin beiber comment if u get it

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops