My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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