What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops