One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

Whats brown and smells bad poo

why did the girl die. because she was bullied and abused everyday by her family and friends. she was homeless and was forced to drop a bomb on her own forest. there fore she stabbed herself.

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

I am a mime

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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