why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Your big dick.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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