Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops