How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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Q: What did the bus driver say to the black man? A: Nothing, he simply greeted him with a nod, as he would do to any other person who chose to ride the bus.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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