What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Caroline Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops