Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Cripples are lame.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Go away still nothing to see

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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i found waldo.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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