What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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