I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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