Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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God is real.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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Yes

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Frontbut-

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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