How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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