Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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